Do you have regrets? Boy, I know I do. When I look back on the years of my life, had I known then what I know now, there are many things I would have done different. If they still made the De Lorean, and flux capacitors were an option, I’d be all over it!
But is regret a Biblical principle? I mean, even God experienced regret, right (Genesis 6:6)… Do you think that Moses, after years in the desert, didn’t sit on top of the mountain looking into the Promised Land that he led the Israelites to but wasn’t allowed in, do you think he didn’t mourn that his actions, and his actions alone, were the reason he wasn’t going in? I guarantee he did!
It is interesting to note that typically the first reaction we have when confronted by something that should have been handled differently is to assign blame. Do you realize that assigning blame was the third reaction recorded in the Bible immediately after the Fall? When Adam and Eve ate the fruit that was expressly forbidden them, the first reaction they had was to be ashamed. The second reaction was to hide from God. The third reaction that Adam had was to blame others, specifically God and Eve. No one made Adam eat, especially not God. God did everything He could to keep Adam from falling, short of putting an electric fence around the tree. Adam knew what he was doing and did it anyway, but when confronted he shifted the focus off of himself and onto someone else, telling God that it was the woman that God had given him that made him do it.
Part of me likes the fact that Adam shifts some of the blame to God, by the way. To me it really shows the level of intimacy that God and Adam had. If God Himself approached you right now and confronted you with your sin, how would you react? You bet! You would be on your face so fast, crying out for mercy! But Adam is so comfortable with God that he thinks nothing of shifting the blame towards God. I’m not advocating the action, of course, but I am definitely jealous of the relationship. There is a certain familiarity that allows for this kind of behavior. It gives an example of the type of close relationship we will enjoy with our Father one day.
Back to the original point… When things don’t turn out like we planned it is often due to the choices we have made. When that happens we tend to point to circumstances, or other people, rather than taking responsibility. I had a boss once that told me that it irritated him when I would step up, admit to a fault, and take all of the blame. At least if I had whined about what didn’t happen, or should have happened, or what someone else should have done then there would have been a coaching opportunity, but when I admitted all the fault there wasn’t much left to say.
So what now? Ok, I regret what I have done. What is the next step? For that, let’s look at the Biblical words for regret. In the Greek it is metamellomai, or metanoeo (there are others that are similar). In the Hebrew, it’s the word nacham. In most modern translations these words are translated as regret, or they imply feeling sad for something. In my opinion, this is the wrong translation and the KJV gets it right here. In the Greek word metaelomai, for example, the prefix meta means “after”, but implies “change”. In other words, the original meaning for the word is not just feeling sorry for something, it signifies changing ones mind, but then also taking the necessary action of making a change for the better. Also, it is interesting to note that the word almost always means to turn from sin. So, what we are really dealing with here isn’t regret, it’s repentance! And that is how the KJV translates these words the most – repent.
It also implies grief. It isn’t just that I wish I hadn’t done something, but that I am so overwhelmed by it that I have no choice but to turn away. It’s a strong feeling. It’s not, “Oh, I’m sorry” and walk away. It’s “I am grieved by this and I am turning in the complete opposite direction to correct it”. In other words, there is no Biblical principle of regret. Then how do we get out of the cycle of action, sorrow, action, sorrow and so on? Remember I said in the beginning that the key was taking responsibility? That’s what God did. He was so grieved by the sin of the world that He flooded it, and killed everything except who and what was in the ark. That is repentance.
How do we get this in our lives? First and foremost, stop regretting. It’s unhealthy. All that does is keeps you focused on what is wrong and not what is right (Hmmmm… Where have I heard that before?). Regret is sin. Regret makes you a prisoner. Repentance sets you free (2 Corinthians 7:10). What happens when you repent? Read on to verse 11. It produces diligence, it gives you something to defend your faith with, it makes you irritated with sin, it strikes fear in your heart over sin, it produces an earnest desire to do what is right, it makes your mind active and fierce, and it makes you want to change everything! (By the way, this verse is a goldmine of word study. I encourage you to take the time and explore it on your own.) In other words, repentance makes you strong! It makes you a better Christian. To me, this means that repentance isn’t something you “do” after making a mistake, repentance is a constant state of mind. Repentance is the sharpening of your mental skills to be aware of sin and mistakes and to be so repulsed by it that you avoid it altogether.
Think of a ninja, or a strong warrior, or the hero in an action movie, or the war-hardened veteran. They all possess this uncanny skill of being keenly aware of everything all at once, giving them the advantage to be able to react quicker than anyone else, often before the enemy. It is a skill that is honed by being taught, unrelenting practice, and sheer experience. These are the guys you want on your side. They never let their guard down, and they even appear to sense danger in their sleep. This is the way we are supposed to be! Repentance isn’t an action that is performed afterwards; repentance is the state of mind that keeps you ever aware of coming danger. That is why we are told be diligent to present ourselves approved to God (2 Timothy 2:15). We aren’t told that we are covered by the blood, sit back, and enjoy. No! We are told be always be on the lookout (1 Peter 5:8) and to always be conscious of what is right so that we can avoid sin our lives (1 Corinthians 15:34).
Commit, with me, from this day forward, to be in that state of mind. Sharpen your spiritual battle skills. Read, study, pray, praise, worship. These are the keys to living a life free of regret.